Catharine, or The Bower (Part 2): “Walking Red Flag”

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The second half of Catharine’s story brings us a new banner entry into the annals of the Austen Character Hate Club! Let’s talk about the follies of young men and why anyone puts up with them…

Transcript

Emily: This is Reclaiming Jane, an Austen podcast for fans on the margins.

Lauren: I'm Lauren Wethers.

Emily: And I'm Emily Davis-Hale.

Lauren: And today, we're finishing "Catharine, or the Bower."

[intro music]

Lauren: We're back to finish out this Juvenilia episode, and I am excited to talk about the ending of the story. And we can also now finally discuss who that mysterious man was who showed up at the end of our last episode.

Emily: Yeah, I gotta say, this was not the way I anticipated this story turning out, but we'll have fun talking about it, I'm sure.

Lauren: No, I also, I did not think the story was going in this direction. I was completely wrong in my prediction. So I am excited to chat and also kind of jealous that you get this one to recap because I feel like there was a lot more happening in the first half that I had to summarize. And this seems like it should be less of a chore.

Emily: Yeah, you did kind of get the short end of the stick.

Lauren: I did. I don't know how I feel about that.

Emily: I don't know. I mean, it comes down to, I'm pretty sure, a coin toss we made like four years ago, so we can only blame our past selves.

Lauren: I'll accept that. All right. In that vein, are you ready to have what should hopefully be a, um, relatively simple recap of the second half of Catharine or the Bower.

Emily: I believe I am prepared.

Lauren: Fantastic. Okay. On your mark, get set, go.

Emily: It turns out the strange gentleman is Mr. and Mrs. Stanley's son, who has returned unexpectedly from France. He and Kitty go to the ball together without a chaperone in the carriage, which is shocking. They open a dance together uninvited, which is SHOCKING. And they keep dancing together all night, which is SHOCKING!! Stanley decides to just stay and keep flirting with Kitty, basically all to mess with Mrs. Percival. But Kitty actually has a crush on him. Um, ultimately he leaves and Kitty remains convinced that he loves her.

Lauren: [cutting across] The end! I think you, you barely, barely made it in.

Emily: You know, the extra time it took to emphasize the shockingness of those actions was worth it, I'll take it.

Lauren: Shocking!

Emily: Shocking!

Lauren: Oh my goodness. I, they were just courting scandal for the entirety of the second half of the story.

Emily: Truly, they were. Oh my goodness. Just jumped right in with both feet and were like, teehee, it's fine, we're just being a little scandalous. Like, no, sorry, um, you were doing like reputation-ruining things this whole time.

Lauren: And so much of this is driven by Edward Stanley, who I have to say, I did not think he was who he said he was. I was sure this was going to be some imposter or something like that who pulled up in this hired carriage, but no, evidently it is actually Edward Stanley who's here to cause trouble.

Emily: Mm hmm. And my goodness, what a man he seems to be, and with such an opinion of himself, too.

Lauren: He thinks he is God's gift to all of man and womankind, and won't be convinced otherwise.

Emily: Truly, that is what he believes. He immediately starts, like, flirting with Kitty, and is establishing that, oh, they have such a close relationship already. It's like, you've known each other for half an hour.

Lauren: And also, you've not told your name, at all.

Emily: Seriously! We get like, a page or two into the conversation, and he has made it clear that he knows who she is, and is acting as if she knows who he is, and then finally he backtracks and is like, Oh, by the way, I'm Edward Stanley.

Lauren: I kept picturing somebody who was just waiting for the grand reveal, and I don't remember what movie it is, but I feel like there's a slightly, parody leaning animated movie, like, uh, whatever movie it is that says, like, "I love you, random citizen." I don't remember what it is, but -

Emily: Megamind?

Lauren: Is it Megamind? It might be. That sounds right.

Emily: I think that's Megamind.

Lauren: I've never actually seen the movie. I've just seen the GIFsets on Tumblr from, like, 2012. But, uh, the type of energy that is, you may applaud now.

Emily: Yes.

Lauren: That's the energy that he brings to every social situation of, now I have revealed my name. You may react with shock and awe.

Emily: Mm hmm. And it's not even in a, like, sad "please clap" kind of way. He is just utterly confident. The man is brimming over with confidence that doesn't necessarily seem to be earned.

Lauren: I don't often say that somebody needs to be taken down a few pegs, but he really needs to be taken down a few pegs.

Emily: He really does.

Kitty is naturally and understandably concerned about the propriety of showing up to the ball on this man's arm whom she has never met and who has not been introduced to the hosts of the ball, which is just already several strikes against him that he's coming uninvited with a lady that he has not been properly introduced to in society.

Lauren: Everything is wrong.

Emily: Everything is wrong. The Dudleys are really put out that he's just come uninvited - in his traveling clothes, no less, because he came from France so unexpectedly that he had no time to have anything packed other than a couple of shirts.

Lauren: He does take the time to freshen himself up a little bit from his travels, and in doing so says, Oh, well, you know. It does sometimes take me a while to get ready and further delays Kitty from leaving by half an hour. So if you remember from last episode, she's already late for this ball because she had a terrible toothache and she didn't think she was going to be able to go, but the toothache eventually resolves itself and she gets dressed and she gets ready to go to the ball and then she's interrupted by the arrival of the stranger, and then she is further delayed by not just their conversation but then he decides that he's coming with her to this ball, but wait he has to get ready and so can she bring like some powder for his hair and let him get himself together and then they may proceed.

Emily: He also needs a pair of shoes. Like, it's so ridiculous. He says, "I am afraid I shall cut a sad figure among all your Devonshire beaux in this dusty traveling apparel, and I have not wherewithal to change it. You can procure me some powder, perhaps, and I must get a pair of shoes from one of the men, for I was in such a devil of a hurry to leave Lyons that I had not time to have anything packed up but some linen."

Lauren: Okay. Sure.

Emily: Just from these first - This is literally within two pages of his arrival. He's like, ah, yes, I'll need these things from your servants.

Lauren: It's like, what? Also, mind you, after thinking that Kitty was the one who answered the door and insulting her by implying that she would answer the door of the home and she's like, ah, excuse you, uh, I would never actually go to the door. That is for the servants to do. What did you think this was? And then he harangues her about going to this ball. And Kitty at least has a little bit of sense to say that this would be a bad idea, but he just keeps negging her until she finally agrees.

Emily: He is a proto-nice guy, I feel like.

Lauren: Yes, 100%. Um, and tries to convince her that she's going to be doing something good by coming with him because he says, you know, "besides if we go in together, we should be the whole talk of the country." And Kitty says, well, I would think that would be great, but you know, my aunt wouldn't really be very happy with me if I did that. And "women at her time of life have odd ideas of propriety, you know." And his response is, "which is the very thing you want to break them of. And why should you object to entering a room with me where all our relations are when you have done me the honor to admit me without any chaperone into your carriage?"

Yeah. Point number one, sir. "Do you not think your aunt will be as much offended with you for one as for the other of those mighty crimes?" So basically, I've already convinced you to make a mistake. So while you're making mistakes, just continue making them because they can only get mad at you for one thing at a time. She can't get more mad. Yes, she can.

Emily: And Kitty, bless her, tries to counter this by saying, "it is no reason that I should offend against decorum a second time because I have already done it once." Which is an excellent point, because yes, they will be the talk of the country, but not for good reasons.

Lauren: And he also doesn't even realize that this is a private ball. And he's, you know, saying, Oh, well, this is a monthly ball, I suppose. And a monthly ball is a public ball with an entrance fee, not a private ball, like the one that is being held by the Dudleys, which would maybe excuse him a little bit from like the, at least the impropriety of I'm going over to someone's home unannounced, but then even when Kitty says, "I thought I had told you that it was given by Mr. Dudley," he's not dissuaded at all. He continues to steam full ahead.

Emily: And of course, all the reactions that Kitty anticipates do come to pass when they finally arrive at the ball. Mrs. Percival is appalled that her niece has shown up on the arm of a stranger without a chaperone. The Dudleys are not happy to see this random uninvited man in their house.

And then he just compounds it all, because then he asks Kitty to dance, and they start at the top of the dance, they open the dance. That is a place of prestige, that is a place of honor, that is given to the most important attendees of the ball. We talked about this kind of thing in Mansfield Park, uh, with the argument about whether Fanny should be allowed to open a ball being given in her honor.

Lauren: Which would have made complete sense for Fanny, and makes no sense for Kitty. She has -

Emily: none whatsoever.

Lauren: - no business being at the top of the dance. Edward Stanley has no business leading her to the top of the dance and everyone - you can just have a mind's eye picture of heads turning and watching them with a level of shock and disgust at the audacity that they are placing themselves in this position of honor without any invitation to do so at all.

Emily: Mhm. Yeah, they're not guests of honor. Edward is not even really a guest. He's a crasher! And neither of their respective social status puts them in that place automatically. If someone were very high nobility attending a ball like this, or nobility at all, really, in this kind of circle, they might be granted that place.

But Camilla Stanley takes particular offense to this, at Kitty being placed above her in the dance and goes so far as to even insult Catharine's family by saying that her father was a mere tradesman, when really her father was a merchant, which are significantly different things.

Lauren: Camilla is doing this to make it seem like she's putting Kitty back into her place, or what Camilla thinks her place should be, because she's insulted that Kitty has taken this place of honor, and she has to remind her of where she actually comes from, which is from a lowly man who made his money through capital and not through stealing it like good, wealthy nobility people do.

Emily: And she complains about this for quite a while, and her mother, Mrs. Stanley, tries to sort of placate the Percivals about Camilla's outburst, and she sort of gives in a little bit, but says, "I must say that it is not very pleasant to have anybody behave so rude to one as to be quite shocking. I am sure I am not at all offended, and should not care if all the world were to stand above me, but still it is extremely abominable, and what I cannot put up with. It is not that I mind it in the least, for I had just as soon stand at the bottom as the top all night long, if it was not so very disagreeable. But to have a person come, in the middle of the evening, and take everybody's place is what I am not used to, and though I do not care a pin about it myself, I assure you I shall not easily forgive or forget it."

There is deep rancor brewing here.

Lauren: Oh no no, she doesn't care a pin about it herself.

Emily: No, of course not.

Lauren: Not at all. But like for other people, she has to take up on their behalf. Have mercy. And this speech finally gets through to Kitty that Camilla's really ticked, because up until this point, Kitty's just kind of been in her own lovely little world. She has no idea that she's offended people. She has no idea that she's offended Camilla. There is a handsome man who is twirling her around the dance floor and paying her particular attention. And that's really all that she cares about or can notice at this point. But she finally realizes, Oh, I've ticked off Camilla. She makes excuses and apology that she delivers with a genuine level of concern. And so Camilla is satisfied that Kitty has not placed herself above her, at least in her mind, and that she remembers that she's actually beneath her in a matter of birth. And so now that order has been restored, they can be friends again.

Emily: Edward has no such compunctions about making demands of anybody at all. His poor father is trying to kind of chivvy him a little bit and be like, well, it's great to see you, but you're on your way back to France, right? Like, you're not also going to invite yourself to stay at this poor woman's house that you have already ticked off so much. And Edward's like, ah, you're gonna have to throw me out.

Lauren: Of course I'm staying here. Where else would I go?

Emily: He specifically realizes that he's annoying Mrs. Percival and leans into it. We get this description after Edward says that he's not really interested in leaving, and so Mr. Stanley says that he is leaving and tells other people that he is leaving so that he has to do it.

We get, "His son, however, appeared struck only by the ridiculous apprehensions of Mrs. Percival, and highly delighted at having occasioned them himself, seemed engrossed alone in thinking how he might increase them."

Lauren: What an ass.

Emily: SUCH an ass. And I feel like this is the kind of person that everybody knows at least one, who just exists to get a rise out of people. That's all they want. It's the internet trolls who are trying to make people argue with them. It's that annoying kid in your class in grade school. Somebody who just wants the attention and the friction so that everything still revolves around them. Everything is in their orbit and in some way under their control.

Lauren: And what makes things worse is that he isn't just contented with irritating Mrs. Percival, he has to irritate her by also bringing Kitty into it and by flirting with her incessantly, because he knows that it's going to make her aunt uncomfortable with no feeling or consideration whatsoever for what Kitty's feelings could be.

And that - as he is more than likely well aware - that she's going to develop feelings for him in a very short period of time, because she is a sheltered teenage girl with a handsome young man who is paying her close attention, but he does not care about this at all.

Emily: Nope. Even if she didn't develop feelings for him, she would be, from his behavior, well within her rights to assume that he was making some kind of move on her.

Lauren: That "he was delighted with her drawings and enchanted with her performance on the harpsichord. Everything that she said appeared to interest him. His conversation was addressed to her alone and she seemed to be the sole object of his attention." How else is she supposed to interpret that?

Emily: Seriously. This isn't mixed signals. This is just manipulation.

Lauren: Exactly.

Emily: He's a red flag.

Lauren: Where's the red flag guy on TikTok?

Emily: Yeah, seriously. [laughs] You know, there, I feel like we don't have that many just, like, straight up unequivocal red flags in Jane Austen. Like, yes, there are a good few. Obviously, Wickham is one. Um, John Thorpe is one. Uh, but we absolutely have one in Edward Stanley here.

Lauren: Mhm. Even Willoughby only becomes a red flag later. He's written to have you trust him in the beginning. Edward, on the other hand? No.

Emily: Immediately just like, too charming, not thoughtful.

Lauren: Exactly. There's not, once again, a thought behind those beautiful eyes, which is, you know, not entirely true because he is thinking about how he's manipulating people. But for the most part, is there any serious thought or discussion happening? Not really.

Emily: Also, this is backtracking a little bit, but it takes her until they're at the ball to actually find out what has brought Edward from France in such a hurry. Um, it's because his favorite hunting horse got ill and died.

I wrote in my margins, because he says something about an urgent matter of business brought him straight back, but his parents didn't know anything about why he was there. It was like, what's, what's going on here? What is so urgent that he had to rush back from France, but his parents wouldn't know about it? Yeah, it was because his horse was sick.

Lauren: That was very important. Couldn't be helped.

Emily: Mm hmm. Mhm. Just giving us an even fuller view of his character.

Lauren: It reminds me of when people thought that Frank Churchill had gone all the way to town just to get his haircut, like that level of frivolity. We knew later on that he really had a different ulterior motive for going all the way to town, but the explanation that was given was that he was just so frivolous that he decided to go all the way to London just to get a haircut. That's what this reminds me of, that he had to come all the way back from France because his horse got sick.

Emily: Mm hmm. He wouldn't have been able to do anything about it regardless.

Lauren: No. There's no point.

Emily: But yeah, he seems to be a spoiled young man who gets what he wants.

There's also a line when he's arguing with his father about going back to France that says, "he advanced these objections in a manner which plainly showed that he had scarcely a doubt of their being complied with." The kind of person who says, I'm gonna do this, and everyone around him just has to accept it, and move heaven and earth to make it happen the way he wants.

Lauren: And you can see that his father now has some regrets in how his son has been raised because there are some character traits that are now difficult to correct, we'll say, but it's a little late.

Emily: Yep, little late to quash those, unfortunately.

Lauren: It's just too little too late.

Another, um, Edward Stanley character trait that I thought was interesting was he's completely apolitical. He is having a discussion with Kitty about politics, which she is very excited about because she, in her mind, is thinking, finally, Camilla has no thoughts at all on this subject, so I have somebody to converse with about this topic, but she doesn't have anybody who actually has any well informed or even like personally held opinions about things because the narration tells us, "they were very soon engaged in a historical dispute for which no one was more calculated than Stanley who was so far from being really of any party that he had scarcely a fixed opinion on the subject."

So they're talking about history and not necessarily about just politics, but he has no actual thoughts of his own. He's just able to regurgitate other arguments and just pick them at will because he doesn't have an opinion and he hasn't thought about it deeply enough to form his own opinion. So he can argue either one, but he doesn't actually care.

Emily: Those kind of people infuriate me, especially with the next line that says, "he could therefore always take either side and always argue with temper." Again, the person who just wants to argue for argument's sake. That stresses me out as a person, because I'm usually, I usually have some personal investment in whatever side I'm taking. People who just want to be contrary?

Lauren: He's that guy sitting in the back of the class who raises his hand in the middle of a debate and goes, Well, just to play devil's advocate...

Emily: Yes, absolutely. But we get the culmination of Stanley's presumption and bad behavior when he and Kitty take a - eventually unchaperoned walk. They begin with Camilla, but then she gets tired, goes back to the house, and they just keep walking and walking, and they're sitting in the greenhouse and conversing, and they're completely alone.

And Kitty starts thinking, what am I gonna do if my aunt finds us like this? And, sure enough, around the corner comes Aunt Percival, who is just appalled that Kitty has been out alone with a handsome young man and basically accuses them of being immoral, which Kitty tries to argue with. And Mrs. Percival comes back with, "The welfare of every nation depends upon the virtue of its individuals, and anyone who offends in so gross a manner against decorum and propriety is certainly hastening its ruin." Basically, you're acting outside the strictly defined bounds of our class and society, you are personally bringing about the downfall of the kingdom of Britain.

Lauren: Which is, on the one hand, very dramatic, and like, girl, calm down. Britain is not going to suddenly fall because she had a little conversation unchaperoned with a man. However, on the other hand, people willfully ignoring the bounds of society is how you get society to change. So she's not entirely incorrect, but she is being way overdramatic.

Like you do not need to put the fall of the entire British Empire on the shoulders of the 17 year old girl because she's going to have a little kiki alone in the greenhouse. Everything's going to be fine. And I think the king will still wake up tomorrow.

Emily: Yep. I think it, it does speak to a very particular political philosophy and a specific interpretation of that political philosophy of especially like the social contract, um, that everyone has to buy into this. We all have to support this or else it all falls apart. So yeah, she's taking it to an extreme, but it's not unfounded in philosophy.

Lauren: If people start saying the emperor has no clothes, then what?

Emily: Mm hmm.

Lauren: But she, she scolds Kitty until she's blue in the face, and then also goes and lowkey badmouths Kitty to the elder Mr. Stanley as well. It's like, I just don't understand. You know, I, I don't really think that she can be trusted around young men. I have to protect her from herself. Da da da da da da da. Like, do you have any faith in your niece at all?

Emily: Clearly not.

Lauren: Clearly not. But it is not to be borne for forever, however, because, the next morning, Kitty wakes up, and Edward's, Edward's gone. He's left.

Emily: He just took off. I can only imagine... Well, I don't know. Do you think his parents had to bully him out of the house? Or was he just like, well, that was a fun whim, bye.

Lauren: It could go either way. I could see... Honestly, probably the latter, because his parents were trying to bully him out of the house before, and that did absolutely nothing. I think he finally got his last little lark with, like, kissing Kitty's hand and then running away before her aunt could come up to them, and then they talked together the whole evening after that and continued raising her aunt's blood pressure, and I feel like he's had the fun that he wanted to have. And decides that's enough, and he can leave.

Emily: Yeah, there's no more return on investment to be had here. He got his kicks. He's out.

Lauren: Mm hmm. And Kitty, of course, is devastated.

Emily: Oh my goodness, she's so devastated. She was starting to think that he really had feelings for her. Mind you, it's been a day and a half.

Lauren: 36 hours.

Emily: Yeah. But, you know, she was feeling all of the sensibility of her age and really thought that they might have something special. But no, he's gone and without even a word.

Lauren: And, you know, "the more she had seen of him, the more inclined was she to like him, and the more desirous that he should like her." But alas, didn't say goodbye, didn't make an effort to pay his respects before he left, though if we listen to Camilla, maybe he did.

Emily: Yeah, apparently he came to say goodbye to Camilla, uh, while she was still like half asleep. And just wouldn't shut up about Catharine to her, singing her praises, and so this rekindles in Catharine the hope that he might return and he might be her love after all.

Lauren: Baby, you're delusional. That man's not coming back.

Emily: Nope. In the end, though, "satisfied beyond the power of change, she went in high spirits to her aunt's apartment without giving a moment's recollection on the vanity of young women or the unaccountable conduct of young men."

Lauren: And what a beautiful place to end that.

Emily: So beautiful.

Lauren: And that's all for Catharine.

Emily: That's all for Catharine. I, I'm a little disappointed that we never had a reappearance of the Bower.

Lauren: I know! It's in the title and then it just kind of disappears.

Emily: Its existence played so heavily in the first half. Also, incredible random decision at the point to break this because it truly did change everything.

Lauren: Thank you. Thank you. I take full credit for that random decision.

Emily: As you should. It was all you.

Lauren: It was purely planned and not accidental at all.

Emily: No, definitely. 100 percent intentional.

Lauren: So what are your overall thoughts about Catharine of the Bower now that we've finished the story in its entirety?

Emily: I think it's an intriguing little portrait of a young woman who's led a relatively sheltered life, but still has dreams of something a little greater, who doesn't always understand the full context of the world around her, but still has curiosity and yet is not immune to folly.

Lauren: Yeah, I liked it a lot. I think often, if we see the, I suppose, like, sillier characters in Jane Austen, they're the younger sisters, and they're not necessarily the focal points of the novel. And so I appreciated getting, uh, a 17 year old who's just a pure 17 year old. She's not overly mature because she has the weight of her family's responsibility forced upon her. She's not worried about marriage yet because she's barely out in society. She's just like, a 17 year old girl who's sometimes a little silly, doesn't really know how to conduct herself in society, is hopelessly in love with the first man who speaks to her. It's just like a very 17 story, and it's nice to me to see how even 200 some odd years later, 17 year old girls are still 17 year old girls.

Emily: Definitely. It also feels like, I think, the most grounded of the Juvenilia so far. So we've gone from, you know, pure, whimsy, fantasy, silly, 10 year old stories in the beginning to something that is definitely maturing in the storytelling to a certain extent, but also maturing in Jane Austen finding her setting among the people that she knows.

Lauren: 100%. And she definitely is approaching that sector of society with a sharper pen as she gets older. And it's definitely starting to become even more evident in this story.

Emily: Increasingly insightful and incisive, too.

Lauren: Mhmm, 100%.

Emily: I know we keep saying it throughout the season, but it's so fun to watch that evolution of a writer. It's something that we don't get a glimpse of very often.

Lauren: Yeah, and definitely not with contemporary authors, because I don't know many people who are chomping at the bit to release their earlier stories on the internet. And even people who started off as fanfiction authors, more often than not, either take their materials down if their username was known or they never really make that public.So there's not a way to kind of track their evolution as an author. And so being able to do this is a really cool experiment and part of why we were excited to be able to come back and launch the the new Reclaiming Jane with the Juvenilia of Jane Austen.

Emily: Fun story. Fun to have a return to multi part stories too.

Lauren: Yes. Yeah. Do you have any other thoughts before we move on to our historical and pop culture connections?

Emily: I think that covers it for me. Anything else from you?

Lauren: Not that I want to say in this section. I'm going to save it.

Emily: Fair enough.

Lauren: Cool. Well, with that, what is your historical connection this episode?

Emily: So let's talk about some of this vanity of young men.

Lauren: Oh, excellent.

Emily: Edward specifically calls for some hair powder, and obviously my brain was like, hairstyling, that's a thing. [laughs]

We see a lot of wigs popping up in, like, Georgian period pieces, but by the 1780s and especially 1792, when this presumably takes place - it's when it was written - trends had really shifted towards natural hair for men, especially among the young and fashionable, which Edward certainly seems to aspire to, even if he's not there. It's, it's hard to, hard to gauge.

Older and more conservative men might still be wearing wigs, but young men, for the most part, had kind of thrown them off. In this era, Stanley would probably still have been wearing a longer hairstyle tied in a queue, like that low ponytail at the back of the head. In ten years or so, slightly less, around the turn of the century, these very, very short neoclassical cuts were coming into fashion. But we haven't gotten there yet. We're still a little bit longer, and everyone, male, female, is using pomade and powder. These are the two things that Catharine has the maid bring to him for his styling.

A formal occasion, like a ball, would absolutely require you to be wearing hair powder, but in daily life it was kind of personal choice, depending on who you were, where you were going to be, what you were doing, that kind of thing. And it is very funny that Stanley sort of makes light of his really inappropriate traveling attire, which absolutely, you would not go to a ball in your traveling clothes, but he does take that half hour to restyle and powder his hair.

A couple of years after this, in 1795, Parliament passed the Hair Powder Act, which levied taxes on the product and really just kind of hastened along the decline that was already in progress. Yeah, powder wigs kind of went out in the couple years after it, but the early 1790s, still in a transitional phase.

Lauren: Why were they taxing powder?

Emily: Uh, there was a flour shortage and flour was one of the primary ingredients for powder.

Lauren: Fascinating.

Emily: Yeah, but also, I mean, it may very well have been a sort of like, this is a popular product, we need a little extra revenue, tax it. Um, but it just led to people not using as much powder.

Lauren: Yeah, that backfired if that was the goal.

Emily: Yep. So, yeah, even though young fashionable men are wearing their natural hair, it still would be pomaded and powdered both for styling and for cleaning purposes because the powder serves the same function as dry shampoo does today. It soaks up oils and it makes it less necessary to wash your hair as frequently.

So the general practice for powdering and pomading: You get your pomade in the hair. It usually is made out of rendered lard or suet for grease. There might be other oils in it, there might be waxes, and some of them were scented as well, so it would smell nice. So you comb your pomade all the way through your hair. And then on top of that, because it's nice and shiny and greasy, you add the powder to get that sort of matte finish and to complete the look. You have nice texture. You have good hold. Um, yeah, I've, I've done it a little bit before. I think I've tried it once or twice.

But yeah, both men and women were styling their hair this way. It was in almost universal use among English people of the time.

Lauren: I'm glad that some of them were scented because I know that it absorbs the oil. But it's not necessarily it's not leaving your head. It's still just sitting on your head. And if you keep repowdering it, I'm just imagining the layers of filth that were sitting on top of people's heads. So I'm glad that some of them were scented. And granted, I may have the wrong idea about how this is actually hanging out in their hair strands, but I'm just picturing just like layers of product. I know if I put too much product on my head without washing it in between, I can feel how layered it feels on my head. And I'm just curious about if you went, like, four cycles of powder with no wash in between, what was the effect on your head?

Emily: Yeah, I mean, there's also definitely a modern misconception about people's cleanliness. Like, they were washing, they were washing their hair regularly, if not as frequently as we do today.

So, yeah, there's all those, you know, rampant rumors about how, oh, there were literal rats living in people's hair and it attracted all kinds of flies and stuff. Like, no, they were using, for the most part, the best quality ingredients that they could acquire, given whatever their budget was. Yeah, most people were not just covered in fleas constantly.

But also, yeah, women would be wearing caps. Part of that is keeping the hair clean, and that's a very ancient thing. Women have been covering their heads, at least in part for cleanliness, for centuries. Men, not so much, depending on the era, but they would also wear night caps, and part of the function of that is to keep your head clean from external oils. Um, yeah, I have more opinions on this than I realized.

Lauren: And that's also why people wear bonnets now to sleep. It's more popular with Black women, but there are also women of all races who will cover their hair to go to sleep. And I'm glad you made the the clarifying point about cleanliness because I wasn't envisioning it as a, like, "18th century Britons were disgusting" type of thing, more in a "that girl who just uses too much dry shampoo and hasn't actually washed her hair type of way."

Emily: Yeah, yeah, I absolutely knew what you were getting at, but yeah.

Lauren: It's like, it's not dirty, but it's not clean. It's not filthy, but you could use like a good scrub because you're kind of cleaning, but like not really.

Emily: Yeah, and I mean, certainly they would have had a different standard for that than we would because we're used to the standard being people with smooth, shiny, producted locks all the time. That wouldn't necessarily have been the case. Um, so, yeah, they wouldn't have seen it as being as dirty, but the effect was probably similar, you know, just visually to someone who's just been using dry shampoo for a couple days too many.

Lauren: That's an excellent visual, thank you. That was such a fun connection, I love that.

Emily: I'm so glad, you know, I try to balance it out sometimes. We had the East India Trading Company last time, so it's like, hey, we'll be... not frivolous, but a little more light in tone.

Lauren: Light hearted.

Emily: Mm hmm. What do you have for our pop culture connection today, Lauren?

Lauren: Maybe funny? Maybe irritating? TBD?

Okay, so there is a saying that came to mind when I was reading the last couple pages of this that is paraphrased in different ways, but the, the general essence of it is, "you don't need to lie to a woman. If she likes you enough, she will lie to herself."

Emily: [pained] Ooh.

Lauren: And I was thinking about that with Kitty, um, because when she realizes that Edward Stanley has left, she starts to blame herself first. She does not immediately go to, Ugh, what a cad, you know, he paid me all this attention and then left and didn't even say goodbye to me. She blames it on herself and on her conduct.

And one of the things that she says, "And this, thought she to herself, blushing with anger at her own folly, this is the affection for me of which I was so certain. Ah, what a silly thing is woman, how vain, how unreasonable, to suppose that a young man would be seriously attached in the course of four and twenty hours to a girl who has nothing to recommend her but a pair of good eyes. And he is really gone, gone perhaps without bestowing a thought on me. Ah, why was I not up by eight o'clock? But it is a proper punishment for my laziness and folly, and I'm heartily glad of it. I deserve it all, and ten times more for such insufferable vanity." And goes on in a similar vein for some time.

And in one respect she is kind of right. She's realizing, okay, it may have been a little bit unreasonable to think that this man had fallen in love with me in 24 hours. I could cool it a little bit. But then, she says that it is punishment for herself and it's because of her own insufferable vanity and it's not! It's because he was acting towards her in a way that would specifically make her believe that he has some kind of preference for her. She's not making this up. He was doing that on purpose. Like we said, he's being intentionally manipulative.

And even later on, before the narration says that she's "Going to her aunt's apartment without giving a moment's recollection on the vanity of young women or the unaccountable conduct of young men," she still is blaming herself when she's thinking about, um, Camilla's explanations for, Oh, no, no, no, he actually was really thinking about you and he was devastated to leave. Because she is kind of trying to reason with herself about this. And is sympathizing with Stanley now that she thinks that he is actually in love with her and says, "And such under the appearance of so much gaiety and intention as Stanley's, oh, how much does it endear him to me? But he is gone, gone perhaps for years, obliged to tear himself from what he most loves. His happiness is sacrificed to the vanity of his father. In what anguish he must have left the house, unable to see me or bid me adieu, while I, senseless wretch" - once again she is blaming herself and insulting herself instead of the person who deserves any blame here - "was daring to sleep. This then explains his leaving us at such a time of day, he could not trust himself to see me. Charming young man, how much you must have suffered. I knew that it was impossible for one so elegant and so well bred to leave any family in such a manner, but for a motive like this, unanswerable."

She has no evidence for any of this. She is fully creating a story in her head that matches what she wants reality to be, based off of what Camilla has told her. And in either case, instead of placing any blame on this man who has toyed with her emotions from the moment he stepped through the door, she calls herself a senseless wretch, she says that this is punishment for her, that this is because of her own vanity... None of this is actually her fault, but you don't actually have to lie to women if they like you because they will lie to themselves about you.

And it just made me think of the current state of dating, which is why I said, I didn't know it could be funny. It could be irritating. I don't know. Um, because that is something that I see play out especially in heterosexual dating all the time, where if you are a heterosexual woman who is buying into the idea that like, to have a full and complete and fulfilled life, you must be in a partnership with a man, you are a lot more likely to lie to yourself about the man that you do have, so that you keep a man just for the sake of having a man.

It doesn't matter if he isn't your intellectual equal. It doesn't matter if he's been a deadbeat and living off of your money for a year, but he's really trying to get a job and he's just kind of down on his luck right now. And I could probably be doing more actually to help him on his job search because he just needs so much support.

It doesn't matter if he has terrible personal hygiene, the number of women who I see posting about, I want to get my boyfriend to do X, Y, Z, because it's really grossing me out and it's affecting our relationship. How do I get him to do something as simple as like wash his hands consistently?

Why are you with him?

Emily: That's so horrifying to me. The thing you, the only thing you should have to do to do that, if it's genuinely something that he is like, oh my god, I didn't realize, you should have to mention it to him. And that's it. The man should fix himself.

Lauren: Thank you. But yet here we are with just countless, countless women who are lying to themselves about this man, or about whatever man they're dating or in a relationship with so that they can keep a man.

And there I feel like are two camps and the straight women who are actively dating or just women who are dating men in general, um, there are the people who have completely now opted out of the dating pool because they were refusing to lie to themselves about men and realizing that in general, the population of Millennial men and Gen Z men is just not up to par. And so I'm not doing this anymore. And there are the people who say, I can make this work. And it will be fine because at least he's not as bad as XYZ. And continue lying to themselves that way.

There was a, um, an article in Glamour UK that was kind of highlighting this trend specifically of women opting out of the dating scene because they refuse to lie to themselves anymore, and saying, "I keep seeing women say they stopped dating and they're staying single and it's because they've been traumatized by men in the past and have no desire to face the demoralizing trauma of the apps." And if you are going to engage in the demoralizing trauma of the apps, it necessitates some level of self deception that this isn't complete ass and that it's not a terrible experience for almost everyone involved. Because I don't necessarily think the men are having that great of a time either.

Like this pop culture connection is talking about the ways in which there are shortcomings, but it's not a good experience for anyone. By design, the apps are designed to keep you there and in despair. I don't care that Hinge says it's designed to be deleted. If it were really designed to be deleted, you wouldn't force people to pay to see the people they're most compatible with.

Emily: I was going to say, they wouldn't be making money.

Lauren: They wouldn't be making any money. And it did kind of like, make me a little sad to be able to make this pop culture connection that, similar to how I said earlier, uh, despite 200 years, you know, 17 year old girls are going to be 17 year old girls.

Doesn't matter what century, if a woman likes you enough, she will lie to herself about you so that you fit her idea of what you should be in her head, even if you're not living up to it in reality. And, um, that is perhaps my not-so-light pop culture connection for today.

Emily: Thank you for that. I think.

Lauren: Stay single, ladies. 'Cause if you're settling, it's not worth it.

Emily: Oh boy.

Lauren: Find someone who's actually worth your time and then, you know, have at it. But don't, don't settle for less, please. I beg of you.

Emily: I think that applies even more broadly, honestly, because there is such a culture of pressure - part of it is, you know, compulsory heterosexuality and compulsory monogamy, but also just compulsory partnering in general. There is a very, very strong message, definitely in, you know, American society that if you are an adult who is not partnered long term, that you've done something wrong and that you have not achieved full status as an adult.

Lauren: You're a failure. You're behind. You're socially stunted. And everything is designed towards partnership. You're going to get a better deal on your taxes if you're married. Living alone is expensive. Like having to do - there's even things that you're able to purchase, it's usually not designed in quantities for single people. It's designed for couples or for households.

Everything is just geared towards: this is the direction that your life should take. And if you deviate from that and you're feeling the pressure, it makes total sense that you would want to find something to make that go away, because it's also not fun to feel as though society is looking down upon you for a choice that's sometimes outside of your own control.

Emily: And that feeds directly into this, well, "I can fix them" idea. Sometimes that comes from a more toxic place, but sometimes it's just that desperation, like you described before, of like, this is the person I have. I have to keep this person at all costs. They need to change, or basically, I need to be in a relationship with a different kind of person for my, to meet my own needs. But this is the person I have, so I'm gonna make them change. That's not healthy for anyone involved.

Lauren: No, not at all. And they don't want to go back into the dating pool because the dating pool has dirt in it. No one wants to go back.

Emily: Yep. Oh, man, it's all a mess.

Lauren: Yay.

Emily: Yay.

Lauren: Welcome to the 21st century.

Emily: Delightful note to end on!

Lauren: There may not be a marriage market in the sense of Jane Austen's time, but, uh, there's sure a market and it's brutal.

Emily: Mm hmm. Thoughts and prayers.

Lauren: Thoughts and prayers. Prayers and thoughts.

Emily: Well, I believe that brings us around to our final takeaways. And since I had that softball of a recap, you're up first for final takeaways.

Lauren: I honestly feel like so many of my final takeaways were just in my pop culture connection. But I think, I think my final takeaway is to rely on your own perception of events instead of what people are telling you. Whether it's Camilla telling Kitty, no, my brother was totally in love with you and he was really sad to leave, or Edward telling her it's going to be fine if we stand up at the front of this ball and nobody's going to think anything's wrong.

Not everyone has your best interests at heart when telling you what you should think or what you should see, and it is better instead to just rely upon your own perception and interpretation of events and to trust yourself instead of putting too much trust in other people, I think.

Emily: That's very good.

Lauren: What about you? What's your final takeaway?

Emily: Very similarly to yours, mine is that you don't have to capitulate to other people's presumptions. If your gut is saying, no, I don't think I want to do this. You don't have to go along with someone just because they're real persuasive and you would feel bad about disappointing them.

As a chronic people pleaser, [laughs] it's a little close to home for me, but...

Lauren: yeah, it found its mark.

Emily: Yep. Well, does that close us out?

Lauren: It does indeed.

[outro music]

Lauren: Thank you for joining us in this episode of Reclaiming Jane. Next time, we'll be reading the first 14 letters of Lady Susan.

Emily: To read our show notes and a transcript of this episode, check out our website, reclaimingjanepod.com, where you can also find the full back catalogue and links to our social media.

Lauren: If you'd like to support us and get access to exclusive content like video episodes, you can join our Patreon at Reclaiming Jane Pod.

Emily: Reclaiming Jane is produced and co hosted by Lauren Wethers and Emily Davis-Hale. Our music is by LaTasha Bundy and our show art is by Emily Davis-Hale.

Lauren: We'll see you next time, nerds.

[music ends]

Emily: This is like, this is a little tangential to this, but it did make me think of the person - We were, we were talking about Pride and Prejudice and Lord of the Rings, and like, I, I don't know, the conversation was a little weird. Um, and you are not even a Lord of the Rings person, so this won't even land, but they said that Faramir was easily led, and I almost fought them. [laughs] It's like, I just, I can't even, I can't even go into it. I'm still so mad about it.

Lauren: Yeah, you're right. It didn't land because I don't have the context, but I support you.

Emily: I'll leave it in for patrons and someone will get it.

Lauren: I'm so sorry. I wish I was a Lord of the Rings person. I'm not. I've tried.

Emily: No worries. I've, I've been able to, uh, vent about it to other people already. Don't worry. This was weeks ago and I'm still just like, I can't believe they fucking said that.

Lauren: I want them to say that to Stephen Colbert and see what happens.

Emily: Yeah, that'd be good.